TAC 34 Index
It would appear that the one essential, unmissable hillwalking programme on TV is not Wilderness Walks nor Tracks, but Teletubbies. Following earlier revelations re Teletubby windfarms (cf TAC33, p6, and letters in this issue), we have continued to monitor its content and can report that in the episode for 16/10/97, the four Tubbies were seen entering their burrow-cum-bunker (which looks uncannily like the hellish subterranean munitions dump beneath the Glen Douglas hills). Once inside, they quickly went off to sleep - but not before first wrapping themselves in silver foil survival blankets of the kind to be found in any outdoor equipment shop or given away as freebies by the glossies. Whatever next? Green plastic Teletubby sit-mats? Fixing Teletubby blisters with Compeed? Locating lost rabbits with Teletubby GPSs? Watch it and see.
Stuart Benn (a man who in all his nights out clubbing has never ever seen any weird cavorting creatures nor oversized rabbits, noooo...) sends in a cutting from the October Mixmag ("The world's leading dance music and club culture magazine"). This tells of DeNiro, a techno DJ with the Hook label, recording his new CD on top of "4600ft" Ben Nevis, having been helicoptered to the summit (although surely this is just a front for his having got there by some E-route). But not only did he get the height wrong, he's also reported as saying "Being up there alone was an immense experience and definitely made me proud of my country". Alone? On Nevis? Surely not - this, after all, is the hill where the SMC's Ken Crocket recently amused himself on descent by counting the Sunday morning tourists trudging upwards and coming away with a frightening estimate of 1000 walkers per hour. Maybe, Stuart suggests, DeNiro found peace and solitude as a result of his whooping, his whistling, and his incessant cries of "Acieeeeed!"
Whilst trying to avoid the latest Oasis hype, TAC must disabuse those who, looking for signs of bad blood between contributors, suggested that the faces of Hamish Brown, Tom Weir, Harry Griffin, and Irvine Butterfield appeared, upside-down, in the crags on the cover of TAC32. Similarly, should Murdo ever appear barefoot, it does not mean that TAC's Editor is dead. Or does it?
Oh, and the Editor would just like to make it clear that, henceforth, he wishes to be known as the Hill Tsar. Perkin Warbeck is Deputy Tsar.
TAC 34 Index