5 Differences between Scottish hills and Australian cricketers
Since the leaves and Wisden's Almanack are both out...
- Australian cricketers traditionally have baggy green caps. Scottish hills traditionally have boggy green bottoms.
- The most recent state to gain entry to Australia's Sheffield Shield (their main domestic competition) is Tasmania. The most recent addition to hillwalking magazines has been The Angry Corrie - said to provoke TACmania amongst some of its more crazed adherents.
- Several current Aussie stars are named after Scottish hills. Best known is peroxide googly merchant Seana Bharne, who lines up alongside Glenn McGrath Heights and Paul Creiffel. Waiting in the wings are Victoria's RJ Herman-Law, SG Law of Queensland - and MW Ridgway, son of Murdo's chum-noire John.
- In days gone by there were Joe "Tharsuinn" Travers, Tom "Vauxhall" Veivers (what baggers used to drive before they invited the Sierra), Peter "Stay in the tent and" Sleep, AE Trott-behind-a-boulder-after-too-much-curry, Herbert visit-the-Ironmonger-when-your-crampons-break, Bill Woodfull-of-bloody-rabbits, Dav Whatmore-ups-before-we-can-go-down? and Martin don't-ever-ever-go-to-Kent. Best of all was the early seventies team, which not only featured Keith Stac Pollaidh and Paul "Ben" Sheahan, but also of course the great Greg Chappell. What's he got to do with hills, you may ask? Well, TAC's own Alan Blanco was recently rummaging through the map library (as he does) when he was astonished to discover what lies at NY802003 on the (admittedly English) Pathfinder Sheet SD89/NY80...
- Most Scottish walkers know that on no account should they cross the English Border, since they would then have nothing to climb. Similarly, all cricketers know better than to cross former Aussie captain Allan Border - aka Mr Grumpy - as they would then most likely get a can of XXXX tipped over their head, or worse.
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