The Angry Corrie 20: Oct-Dec 1994
Pretty awful, eh?
We think it's clear that events will follow roughly this timetable:
2010: Muriel Gray publishes The Munros, The First Fifty Times.
2020: Hamish Brown becomes the first Munros2 completionist - the first continuous, self-propelled round of all the Munros 277 times in succession.
2130: Everyone in Britain has completed the Munros at least once. The waiting list for Schiehallion ascents is now so long that parents must book their offspring onto it as soon as the pregnancy test is confirmed. The SMC, now an international conglomerate, has offices in every major American and European city.
2170: The entire Chinese population starts "topping out" on Tom Dubh. B&B accommodation in the Fort William area is fully booked for the next hundred years. 150 million metric tons of Chinapersons romping up and down the Atlantic coast causes Scotland to tilt tectonically westwards, with renewed volcanic activity in the Inner Hebrides. The Inaccessible Pinnacle is rendered truly inaccessible by lava flows.
2185: Constant lava outpourings raise Sgurr nan Gillean to 17,000 feet. (It now lives up fully to the immortal words of WA Poucher FRPS: "A coign of vantage not easily attained by the simple pedestrian.") Continued tilting of the Scottish crustal plate pushes the entire east coast above three thousand feet. However, SMC Enterprises Inter-national refuse to make any alterations to The Book, on the grounds that they "just made most of it up in the first place."
2200: The world's population finishes all the Munros, aided by the fact that much of mainland Scotland has been eroded completely flat. Crisis looms for the SMC World Government, but is narrowly averted by the arrival of intelligent aliens from Alpha Centauri, who are met on the steps of their spacecraft by a man carrying a slim red book. And it's not Eamonn Andrews.
We did it all ourselves, actually. No-one helped.
Note added in press:
Oh. Here's another thing. After a while, we got this idea of extrapolating backwards, to get down to 0.00361, or 1/277. That happens in 1846 - 1846.845, actually. So we can say with some confidence that the first ever ascent of a Munro was completed on November 4th, 1846. At about 10:15 in the morning. Which means that, whichever one it was, it was probably quite handy from the road.