The Angry Corrie 14: Aug-Sep 1993

Ode to the Scottish Mountaineering Club

It was October 1992 and we wandered into the corrie on a wintry morning. The walk to the CIC hut was the usual delight and we were glad to stop. The corrie was deserted as we approached the hut and noticed the door was ajar. Being curious as to how palatial the CIC really was, we dared to step inside. No sooner had we done this, when we were pounced upon on and verbally battered by the custodian and his sidekick. Admittedly we didn't knock and we appreciate the problems caused by dozens of nosey climbers and hill-bashers. However, on this occasion no-one else was on the hill and we merely fancied a bullshit. The attempt at a blether crashed and burned and it was made crystal clear that we were not welcome and the hut was out of bounds. We could just about understand if they didn't want us inside, but to be rude, threatening and abusive was well out of order.

So, we wondered if your readers would like a laugh at the 'old-school' and have a wee insight to the ignorance and arrogance of these 'great' men of our mountains. (OK - Ed.)

Ode to the Scottish Mountaineering Club
(apologies to the Alexander Brothers)

For these are my mountains
And this is my hut
Your types are not welcome
So the door's firmly shut!
To hell with this nonsense
Of kinship to men
In here we are special
We're the pricks of the Ben!
Oh, we own this mountain
Or so we all think
What! Not SMC members?
Begone you wee tinks!
We can't lower our standards
For riff-raff like you
You have no diploma
And that wouldn't do.
Well, this is my corrie
And I'm afraid that is that
We won't make the effort
To be friendly or chat
We're all far too busy
Striving after our aim -
Being ill-mannered and pompous
Self righteous and vain.
Right, to all you new members
You'd better take care
You can't turn out like this
You just shouldn't dare
You're not any different
From the rest of us folk
So don't make us treat you
Like a big bloody joke.

Steve Fraser / Alan Gilchrist

TAC 14 Index