The Angry Corrie 4: Nov-Dec 1991

Baggers Abroad No. 1: The doctor's surgery

Lloyd George it was who said 'Politics is not so much a way of life, more a state of mind', and the same could of course be said of Munrobagging. Clearly the thousands of anoraked automatons who flock to Ben Lomond and beyond each weekend don't do so out of any great love of the hills, but because of a supra-conscious, angst-oriented fear of a flimsy, obsession-free world. And because they would all turn cold turkey if they stopped. Which begs the obvious question, what would baggers all do if the Munros were suddenly denied them...?

* Reason for absence -

Injury - possibly Berghaus's Syndrome, Brasheritosis, or Damart nipple.

* Alternative pastime -

Need to visit Doc anyway, so make it worthwhile by doing the rounds. Take concept of a second opinion to its logical extreme by never seeing same GP twice. If carefully planned in advance, as many as 20 or 30 can be knocked off in a good week.

* Where? -

Rural practices poor - equivalent of Mount Keen or Ben Sgritheail in that you can only bag one at a time. infinitely better is the inner-city health centre, where whole ridge systems of medics can be clinically bagged. Try, wherever possible, using interconnecting surgery doors to save time.

* Ticks in the book -

Easiest way is simply to tick your way through the scores of doctors in local phonebook. Some controversy over regular, annual revisions, with several traditional, well-loved names having been deleted due to not being real doctors in the first place (Watson, Finlay, Who), whilst the Hippocratic status of certain others is open to speculation (Owen, Miller, McSharkie). Real aficionados prefer to use the GMC register, and whilst this has the advantage of weeding out non-medical doctors, some baggers prefer to keep these in as outlying tops.

* Dream ticket -

Being rescued by Miriam Stoppard, Graeme Garden and J.P.R.Williams from top of Meall Lighiche in a cloud inversion.

NEXT ISSUE: Baggers in love.

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